Saturday, August 2, 2008

Squash & 4 Years!!!

The following is what I posted on Brandon's site ( August 3rd, marks 4 years ago that he left this place and went home with Jesus ~ his REAL HOME ~ A place that I am so glad that God made possible, and that I eagerly await my day! We are going to Celebrate Brandon's life on 8/3 by doing fun things. He was ALL about FUN. I encourage you all to do some FUN for yourselves too.....and let God have some FUN with you in your day too!

4 Years. Sometimes there is nothing more than I can think, than just that. 4 years of missing Brandon so much, and 4 years of thinking about how much of Jordan & Seth's life have gone by without him here in it. Seth used to always ask if I thought God let Brandon see us on special times. I don't know, but I would really like to think so. He would be so proud of Jordan for his upcoming move to Washington State to finish his college. And Seth is starting High School, I can just hear Brandon say...."Hey Cool Guy". Although he might give Seth a little hard time and try to scare him with tales of the "Freshman Beat Down", like he did Jordan (Smile).

And to be honest, I have really been struggling lately.......the 4 years, Jordan moving so far away, even though I am so VERY PROUD and HAPPY for him! Seth starting High School is also emotional for me. So can only imagine what Steve has had to deal with. (I am not so sure he would SMILE)???

However, earlier today I was out in my garden picking squash. I was pretty certain I had gotten all that needed to be picked, so I went to the other side of my garden to take a look at that side. While over there I noticed a squash that most definitely could not wait to be picked, and at that moment God spoke to my heart about "PERSPECTIVE". How when I was so close to the plant, and was so sure I had gotten it all, my PERSPECTIVE changed when I changed positions. Kind of like how life and God is. Just like God, his love, his faithfulness and his perfect plan are always there, we are the ones who move ~ therefore changing our PERSPECTIVE. Are you still with me??? And no I am not totally crazy about my squash!!! But it was yet another way of God speaking to my heart in the "little things" to show me how much he really is in the "BIG THINGS". He knows my pain, he knows my heartache, but he is still there, and still always has something that will reach out and show me something from him. Even if it is a squash plant!

So here we are 4 years later, still living, and also having fun, looking forward to "new seasons" and new adventures. Still seeing and seeking God in all things, letting him continue to heal our hearts, all while we are missing Brandon so much. And while our PERSPECTIVES have changed and Brandon's has as well (can you imagine!!!), God is still the same, and I PRAISE him for that (even with a broken heart). Thank you all for still checking on us, still praying for us, and most definitely STILL talking about Brandon to us. You make our hearts happy & WE LOVE YOU!!!

Steve, Dawn, ^i^Brandon^i^, Jordan, & Seth