So yeah, God has me stretching in area's that I wasn't quite prepared for. One is a little area that I had put away out of reach almost 7 years ago. That is my Bible. Yes I have used other's in these last 7 years....Brandon's mostly, but I sent that along for the ride to California with Jordan (how cool is that to think about), my "Serendipity Bible" that was a gift from my mom years ago, Steve's Bible, one of Brandon's other Bible's (the teenager's edition), and yes I even looked at purchasing a new one. BUT GOD....he always has these other plans...funny, he never thinks to ask me ahead of time (smile ~ sometimes). Anyway, since December I have been hearing the word "BALANCE" from him. So I have been striving to achieve that. And just when I thought I was making the slightest of progress....I heard him tell me to go back to MY BIBLE. It would seem that it would be no big deal, but in my heart it has been. You see this is a book so worn, and even torn with years of searching, seeking & believing. There are prayers written on those pages, dates of those prayers, and some dates of answered prayers. Inside there are drawings by Brandon, Jordan & Seth through the years...notes from them, from Steve and from other sweet people. There are questions to God on how I was to pray for Brandon, proclamations made by me of what I would pray over my family. Standing on promises and then there comes the words, thoughts, and desperate prayers during the summer months of 2004. And then when August 3, 2004 happened...I could not pick that Bible up again. I shoved it on a shelf...never to open again. Until now....
When I took that big breath, and opened it up I saw those same things (a time capsule), but God is also showing me that although my perspective was different then...he did in fact answer all my prayers, see all my notes, and is still working to the good of me...because I love him. I do not yet know why he has chosen "now" as the time for me to go back to using this Bible...but because he is faithful, and I TRUST...I know that it is for my utmost best. And I am fine with that.
