Been gone ~ but here!

I have been in quite a "funk" these last two weeks, but I am now on the hike back UP "that hill". I suppose these times will always come and go. Brandon's birthday is Monday. He would be 23!!! We are going camping for the weekend and to also CELEBRATE his birthday that way. I know he would have loved camping, but I also know he LOVES Heaven. Just really wish God would just give me that BIG picture. But because he knows me so well....he does what he does, cause I'd always want MORE.

Actually during this "funk" we have been quite busy as well. There have been Bud & Bug Festival, planting flowers outside (which I love), opening the pool (yaay ~ ready for that if it ever warms up), baseball games, band concerts, projects for school, prom, and now Jordan's girlfriend Jessi graduates tomorrow night! So it would seem that it should have been impossible to be in a funk with all of this fun stuff going on, but yeah it was there. But God in his never ending FAITHFULNESS is always right there, giving me just what I need, when I need it.

Well...laundry is calling. Have a great weekend, maybe I will actually post photo's next time!

God Just Knows

I posted the following on Brandon's caringbridge site yesterday, and am keeping it FRESH today!!!

don't think that I will ever just "get it" by always being amazed at God's FAITHFULNESS. It will just never get old, and I am so THANKFUL for that.

God showed up this morning in just the most perfect way, that my hurting heart has been needing. I just love that about him, he knows me so much that he knows just what thing I will need. And the fact that he actually knew what I would need today...........before I was even born. How GREAT is that.

Also, today I heard this wonderful statement on a morning Christian show that I watch/listen to while getting ready in the morning....

~ Your FAITH does not prevent life, it carries you through life.

That just made such an impact on my heart and in my mind. God is just so good at giving me the "stuff" to move forward, whether it be by that next step, next breath, next hard time, or even next adventure.

He is just that BIG and always there!!!

Hmmmm

Today I feel like that "HILL" is really big. However I Know that God is bigger. This season starts all of the memories leading up to transplant 4 years ago. The laughing, and excitement we felt as Brandon & I drove up to the hospital on 4/29, to start getting his body ready for the transplant on 5/12. I have said before on Brandon's caringbridge site, that all of those emotions and thoughts still feel just like yesterday. I wonder if that changes? And sometimes the thought of that change scares me. Again, with me it's always the head heart thing. I know in my head that Brandon is living life far better than here...I mean REALLY living the life that I believe God initially intended. But my heart hurts, and I am really missing him. And at the same time I am so thankful that this is not it, and trying to not miss out on the life that God has called for me here.

Still climbing, and still VERY much THANKFUL for God's LOVE & FAITHFULNESS!

Also, I am remembering this interview quote Brandon said 6/10/2004, in our local paper the Milford Beacon.

~ "You can't whine over things," he said, "because you can lose everything in a manner of seconds. So feeling sorry for yourself just wastes time. You may have some bad times, but you'll have some good, and it will all get better in the end.
"If you let the bad run you over, you really miss out on a lot of good things."