Oh Yeah!!!

Okay...so less than 24hrs, I get to see my precious sweet middle son!!! All the way from snowy Washington. Seth was a little more than irritated that Jordan has had 2 school snow days this week. Our weather here in Delaware has been crazy...cold, warm, balmy, rainy, damp, just plain YUCKY, sunny, and now rainy again! Oh a wish for snow....too bad Jordan can't bring any with him.

I am asking for safe travel prayers...and no airport delays, but well...we will just deal with that. He is flying out of SeaTac tonight @ 10:40, arriving in Detroit in the morning, and then going from there to Philly....so if you have been watching the news lately, you know "that the weather out there is frightening" (that song is stuck in your head now isn't it...heehee). Anyway, we are just so super excited to get to tomorrow morning at the airport.

And today, guess what....Steve and I are starting and finishing our Christmas shopping! Yeah, we are those people, but it works out well, because we make lists, have fun (which of course means some "ground rules" before hand) and just spend the day together. His big job (other than he is the $ man) is when he sees me getting stressed...the 4 Magic words MUST be spoken with kindness and love...."It will be okay". Works every time on this hyper girl!

I have some Thanksgiving photo's that I'll try to upload tonight. Some of them quite interesting :-O

Have a great day everyone!

Counting Down

Jordan leaves Washington for home....one week from today!!! I can not wait to wrap my arms around him, kiss those cheeks, and hear him breathe!!!

Have a good weekend! And yeah....if you stop by....Please say hello!

Thanksgiving

We had a very fun and different Thanksgiving this year. We went camping (you know...the modern Pilgrim way) down near Williamsburg. It was such a fun and relaxing time. I am so glad that we went, perhaps a new tradition??? Seth had a lot of fun, even though he was the only kid. We did our traditional Black Friday Movie. And then on Saturday, we toured historic Yorktown and the Jamestown Settlement. Man O Man am I glad I live NOW. It was cold and damp that day, and I just can not imagine!!!

Also, Seth figured out that modern day conveniences are just way too nice. And yeah...I am a modern day girl myself!!! Brandon and Jordan would have loved the trip too, and of course we thought about them a lot. Jordan actually had a nice long weekend at my sister-in-law Shawn's house. So he had a good Thanksgiving with family. And well, I can only imagine the type of Thanksgiving they do in Heaven. I am sure for Brandon...EVERYDAY is Thanksgiving and Praising!

And to that...I give all of my THANKS to God for making Eternity possible and a reality! Thank you Jesus!

*hopefully more pictures will follow soon

Uuuuugh (can you just also see my body slump on that)

Today is just one of those days. However, I will stive to continue to find my JOY ~ which is of the Lord, and is my strength. And I really don't want to miss out on the JOY of my family by staying in this pit. I just feel sad at this moment. But I will end with a scripture, cause I know that it is so important to keep the word of God in my heart, on my lips, and in front of my eyes!!!

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

:-(

Jordan left yesterday to go back to Washington.....SUCH an emotional day already, and then to add....I sat and watched the pilot of his plane get on and off, squat down and point and look up. Then several more people gathered and did the same thing...So YEAH....Not feeling good watching this!!! After much of that and then "maintenance", they left and hour and 15 mins late, which then meant that he did not make his connection. I actually found out that he would not make his connection before I left the airport. At that point is when my "mini breakdown" started (ya know had to wait until I got to the car to have the full on melt down, as I did not want to have airport security think there is a really crazy person there). So pretty much the whole drive home I was a crying, snotting mess on the phone with Steve, my sister-in-law Kelly, and my sister Susan.

And yes...Jordan did NOT make his connection in Charlotte, but US Airways put him up in a hotel overnight, as the next flight out for Seattle was not until 6:00pm today. And actually, he had a good day today. He went on a little site seeing opportunity in downtown Charlotte, and got to enjoy the sunny warm weather. Which I know is a blessing, because Seattle is now wet, and dreary. And right now as I am typing this I am able to track his flight with this really cool website, that allows you to see how fast, how high, and how much time he has left. And at this moment, he is somewhere over Nebraska. So why in all my emotional chaos, did I forget that no matter what, God IS in control. He knows what he is doing, and I can look at this as a nice little blessing of great weather for Jordan today. Why is it so easy in an emotional time to forget to try and keep looking that God has still got it all under control??? This is as you see, something I struggle with, but I AM a work in progress.

And in all of that back and forth with my emotions, I am reminded that I need to continue to work hard at not being that way, and to find the JOY in the areas that God has for me in everyday life. I am JOYFUL for my family (Steve, ^i^Brandon^i^, Jordan, & Seth), JOYFUL for a the visit with Jordan, JOYFUL for my SAVIOUR, JOYFUL for eternity, and that we will get to see and be with Brandon again (I can just hear him saying...."yep, that is my crying, crazy mom"), and yes even JOYFUL for my emotions!!!

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. ~ Psalm 16:11

More Photo's

A Very FUN Week

Jordan has been here for a SURPRISE visit from Washington, and here are some of my favorite photo's from a very busy and fun week!!!

Enjoy!

Exciting Stuff

Got a week full of exciting events.....this is Homecoming week at Seth's High School....so there is all kinds of fun just waiting for this freshman! Bonfires, parades, football, powderpuff football (which is absolutely hilarious). So yeah....a busy week. But it is all good. Hoping to get some great visits in there as well with the people I love...I am sure I will!!!

To hear a great song that has really been ministering to me, check out Brandon's site (www.caringbridge.org/de/brandonhastings). I hope it touches your heart and you just let God LOVE ON YOU!


On another note.....STILL PRAYING about something specific from the Lord. And I have to admit....getting in patient (even though I know I am not supposed to and that God's plan, purpose, and timing is the best). So that can be a little tough for me.

Ending with a scripture that is also touching me....
Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
1 Corinthians 15:58

Pleeeeeease

If you stop by, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for you to say hello and post a little message. And I promise I will visit your little piece of the world. I am sure that it is BEAUTIFUL!!!

What a wildly wonderful world, God! You made it all, with Wisdom at your side, made earth overflow with your wonderful creations.
Psalm 104:24 (The Message)

So Much

Wow! It has been a really loooong time since I updated. So much has happened and gone on. Jordan is making out well all the way out on the west coast in WASHINGTON. I miss him so much, but we text or talk a lot. So that helps. REALLY wish I could text Brandon in Heaven (smile). Seth is also doing well in his freshman year of High School. However, during the first minute of the first time he got to play in his JV Soccer game, he had a hard hit from the goalie, and broke his arm!!! It was quite a bad break. He has been in a full arm cast for 4 weeks now, which means no soccer AND he can not play the drums in band. Hopefully on Friday (17th) he will be moved to a half cast, which will mean he can play soccer again (with a custom foam sleeve) and also go back to playing the drums. YAAAY!!!

Last weekend we had a nice visit from my sister-in-law Shawn and her family. They were here from Washington, so my Jordan was out there totally on his own. He actually lives about an hour north from Shawn, but it does this mom's heart good to know that family is out there for him. He also gets along well with his roommate Todd (who is from Florida). So that is all good.

Let's see what else.....busy (that's nothing new), still praying and waiting on a certain something that God had Steve and I praying for. Now just trying to figure out if I heard part of it correctly, even though I have already gotten several "words" on this, and confirmations. But as we know....our time is not God's. But it is really hard to try and NOT TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT! Ya know what I mean???

I know that there is soooooo much that I have left out (that's what I get for waiting so long between updates), but in general just trying to keep pressing on, keep seeking Jesus and Joy, Celebrating and LOVING ALL AREAS of my life!

Happy Fall Y'all!!!

Ending with this scripture that is really touching my heart right now...
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy
Job 8:21

Love this scripture!!!

This sure is wonderful to know........and I Know God is true to what he says!!! Love you God & THANK YOU!!!


The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
--Psalm 34:18

Cha cha cha CHANGES!!!

Wow......an emotional month for this emotional girl! We had a fun "Celebrate Brandon Day" on 8/3. We celebrated his life by doing fun things and being together. Every time, God is so good and always has something special for us. I like to think of it as a "Hug from him ~ to say it's all good Dawn". We went camping the following weekend which was so much fun but also the starts of my emotions getting "revved" up. This would be Jordan's last time camping with us before leaving for college ~ all the way in Washington State!!! But it was a great weekend.

On Wednesday the 20th we took Jordan to the airport to start his next new adventure in Renton Washington. I am so excited that he did this and I know he is right where God wants him to be. BUUUUUT the mom in me, well let's just say that as we watched the flight take off ~ hysteria set in. Yeah I was a sobbing crying mess. But even in an anxious day, God put such a special person in our path. We had already done online check in, checked his baggage curbside, and were just waiting in the terminal by the United desk for Steve to come in after parking the car. This gentleman (really wish I had his name) was standing there controlling the line, and I can't quite remember how it all came about, but he got us 3 Security Gate Passes so we could actually go to the gate with Jordan! From everyone I have told this too....says that is just really unheard of. So THANK YOU God for putting this man into our paths and helping a hurting mom's hurt feel better!

Jordan made out great on his flight, and had quite a busy first day with getting his apartment signed for, new bank account opened, change of address, going over to the school briefly and checking out the town a little. I am so thankful for my sister and brother in law ~ Shawn and Mac for all of their help. It sure does add peace to my heart.

Now onto the next emotional thing........my baby (Seth) started HIGH SCHOOL the very next day! So at this point for those of you who don't know me, you can tell I am a big emotional crybaby who definitely wears her heart on her sleeve. But you know, even for the crying, the emotions, whether the are happy or sad ~ I STILL PRAISE GOD for them. And for HIS STRENGTH. I PRAISE HIM FOR GIVING ME THE PRIVILEGE AND HONOR TO BE THE MOM AND WIFE OF THIS FAMILY!

I hope I have made Steve, Brandon, Jordan, & Seth proud and the know with every fiber in their being how much they are loved by me. Even in the times that I know I annoy them with my constant picture taking of all events! (SMILE)

Have a WONDERFUL weekend, and let God just love on you and show you how special you are to him!

*hopefully photo's coming up soon

Surfing!!!!!!!!!!

Loved this quote I saw on another blog today. Karen from Washington State, visit her blog, she is approaching one of "those dates", and would sure appreciate your visit and encouragement. karengberger.blogspot.com ~ still not really good at doing the "link" thing. Sorry

We can't stop the waves, but we can learn to SURF ~ Jospeh Goldstein

This reminds me so much of the my emotions lately. I really need to learn to surf ALOT better. This also reminds me of my special "middle son" Jordan. He loves to surf, whether it be on the water or on the sidewalk. He is getting ready to start his next new adventure with a move to Renton, Washington. Did I tell you how emotional all of this is to me!!!!! The 4th Celebration of when Brandon went to his "REAL HOME ~ Heaven", Jordan moving, and my baby Seth starting High School!!! I was a crying mess this morning dropping Seth off to High School Soccer practice, and thinking "this time next week, Jordan will be in Washington"! BUT..........it is all good stuff. I know that God's plans and purpose are so much bigger than I can imagine, and yeah God.........I am ready to learn to surf with EXPERTISE!!! I LOVE YOU GOD & I LOVE the family you gave me!!!

Have a great weekend to everyone. We will be celebrating this next new adventure in Jordan's life, and his 20th Birthday ~ he will actually be in Washington for his birthday on August 27th. So we are gonna have some fun this weekend!

My cup is truley overflowing (happiness, gratefulness, God's love, and yes....tears)

Squash & 4 Years!!!

The following is what I posted on Brandon's site (www.caringbridge.org/de/brandonhastings)today. August 3rd, marks 4 years ago that he left this place and went home with Jesus ~ his REAL HOME ~ A place that I am so glad that God made possible, and that I eagerly await my day! We are going to Celebrate Brandon's life on 8/3 by doing fun things. He was ALL about FUN. I encourage you all to do some FUN for yourselves too.....and let God have some FUN with you in your day too!

4 Years. Sometimes there is nothing more than I can think, than just that. 4 years of missing Brandon so much, and 4 years of thinking about how much of Jordan & Seth's life have gone by without him here in it. Seth used to always ask if I thought God let Brandon see us on special times. I don't know, but I would really like to think so. He would be so proud of Jordan for his upcoming move to Washington State to finish his college. And Seth is starting High School, I can just hear Brandon say...."Hey Cool Guy". Although he might give Seth a little hard time and try to scare him with tales of the "Freshman Beat Down", like he did Jordan (Smile).

And to be honest, I have really been struggling lately.......the 4 years, Jordan moving so far away, even though I am so VERY PROUD and HAPPY for him! Seth starting High School is also emotional for me. So yeah...you can only imagine what Steve has had to deal with. (I am not so sure he would SMILE)???

However, earlier today I was out in my garden picking squash. I was pretty certain I had gotten all that needed to be picked, so I went to the other side of my garden to take a look at that side. While over there I noticed a squash that most definitely could not wait to be picked, and at that moment God spoke to my heart about "PERSPECTIVE". How when I was so close to the plant, and was so sure I had gotten it all, my PERSPECTIVE changed when I changed positions. Kind of like how life and God is. Just like God, his love, his faithfulness and his perfect plan are always there, we are the ones who move ~ therefore changing our PERSPECTIVE. Are you still with me??? And no I am not totally crazy about my squash!!! But it was yet another way of God speaking to my heart in the "little things" to show me how much he really is in the "BIG THINGS". He knows my pain, he knows my heartache, but he is still there, and still always has something that will reach out and show me something from him. Even if it is a squash plant!

So here we are 4 years later, still living, and also having fun, looking forward to "new seasons" and new adventures. Still seeing and seeking God in all things, letting him continue to heal our hearts, all while we are missing Brandon so much. And while our PERSPECTIVES have changed and Brandon's has as well (can you imagine!!!), God is still the same, and I PRAISE him for that (even with a broken heart). Thank you all for still checking on us, still praying for us, and most definitely STILL talking about Brandon to us. You make our hearts happy & WE LOVE YOU!!!

Love,
Steve, Dawn, ^i^Brandon^i^, Jordan, & Seth

Let's DRINK!!!

But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.
--John 4:14

This touched my heart this morning........God has really been using water, and rivers in our lives A LOT here lately. Whether it be in what we see in this natural world, or what he has for us behind this "veil" in his SUPERNATURAL. Sometimes I like to lazily float along, and other times I love the fast flowing rush. But God is ALWAYS present in both. I am so glad that he is. And in fact, he NEVER LETS GO, even when those waters become scary.

Thank you God for my family, and for giving me the privilege to be in this place at this time. I LOVE YOU GOD!!!

WHOO HOO!!!

Yaaaay! It's SUMMER and it's HOT!!! I love it, this is my favorite time of the year! I love being outside, seeing the beautiful sunsets, hearing the birds chirping, seeing the lightning bugs, and just letting God "wash over me" with the beauty of what he created!

He is also soooo FAITHFUL during this time. This is the season that Brandon was re-admitted for the last time 4 years ago. At first is was another gouge in my heart that during my most favorite time of the year, I would also be experiencing the worst time of my life. But you know, God has been able to restore that favorite season again. That's not to say I don't have my moments....but I know they are not as often and as constant as 4 years ago. Today I can see that the beauty for ashes he has given me now, was also present 4 years ago when we were walking the start of this journey. God is just so good like that. He knows my heart so well, and loves me so much that he is willing to give me "something" at the moment I need it. What a great DADDY we all have!!!

On another note.......Steve and I have been intently praying and preparing for something that God has placed on our hearts. I would ask for your prayers with this as well (I will reveal more, when the time is right). For those of you reading my thoughts, PLEASE PLEASE send me a message........I would LOVE to visit your "world" as well.

Ending with a scripture:
But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel: "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.
I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.
When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me!
That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
Isiah 43:1
(How COOL is that, that he would trade creation for US)

Typed myself into a BETTER mood! ~ Thank you Jesus!!!

This "pit" just seems to be harder than other times to get out of. That's not to say, that everyday all day I am in it. It just seems that I am either "in it", or very close to the "edge". I know the whole head heart thing, and God is still ALWAYS FAITHFUL, and I just love the times that he shows up unexpectedly. Because those times that grief shows up unexpectedly sure does take all of the air out of my lungs, and sometimes the life out of my heart. But you know....I see how important it is that the JOY of the Lord is our STRENGTH. Cause it just seems that satan is always trying to rob us of our joy...therefore our strength.

I really have to PURPOSE to not let that happen A LOT of times. But I do have so much to be JOYFUL about....and just even blogging this, it has lifted my heart. So let me just list a quick list of my JOYS..

Eternity ~ Thank you so much for that Jesus~
My Family ~ Steve, Brandon, Jordan & Seth
My other family members ~ ALL of you!!!
My Friends ~ The ones in the flesh, the ones I have never met (especially those with a journey like mine)
My Church
Music
The sun
The moon ~ especially a full one
SUMMER
Being outside
My pool
all of those above things, would be impossible to enjoy without the VERY hard work that my wonderful husband Steve does. I am so appreciative that I get to be a stay at home mom, and work for my brother.

Well, now that I am now some "steps" away from that pit....I am going to go enjoy some of those things....and maybe something "sweet to eat" too!!!
You all go and ENJOY too!!!

Been gone ~ but here!

I have been in quite a "funk" these last two weeks, but I am now on the hike back UP "that hill". I suppose these times will always come and go. Brandon's birthday is Monday. He would be 23!!! We are going camping for the weekend and to also CELEBRATE his birthday that way. I know he would have loved camping, but I also know he LOVES Heaven. Just really wish God would just give me that BIG picture. But because he knows me so well....he does what he does, cause I'd always want MORE.

Actually during this "funk" we have been quite busy as well. There have been Bud & Bug Festival, planting flowers outside (which I love), opening the pool (yaay ~ ready for that if it ever warms up), baseball games, band concerts, projects for school, prom, and now Jordan's girlfriend Jessi graduates tomorrow night! So it would seem that it should have been impossible to be in a funk with all of this fun stuff going on, but yeah it was there. But God in his never ending FAITHFULNESS is always right there, giving me just what I need, when I need it.

Well...laundry is calling. Have a great weekend, maybe I will actually post photo's next time!

God Just Knows

I posted the following on Brandon's caringbridge site yesterday, and am keeping it FRESH today!!!

don't think that I will ever just "get it" by always being amazed at God's FAITHFULNESS. It will just never get old, and I am so THANKFUL for that.

God showed up this morning in just the most perfect way, that my hurting heart has been needing. I just love that about him, he knows me so much that he knows just what thing I will need. And the fact that he actually knew what I would need today...........before I was even born. How GREAT is that.

Also, today I heard this wonderful statement on a morning Christian show that I watch/listen to while getting ready in the morning....

~ Your FAITH does not prevent life, it carries you through life.

That just made such an impact on my heart and in my mind. God is just so good at giving me the "stuff" to move forward, whether it be by that next step, next breath, next hard time, or even next adventure.

He is just that BIG and always there!!!

Hmmmm

Today I feel like that "HILL" is really big. However I Know that God is bigger. This season starts all of the memories leading up to transplant 4 years ago. The laughing, and excitement we felt as Brandon & I drove up to the hospital on 4/29, to start getting his body ready for the transplant on 5/12. I have said before on Brandon's caringbridge site, that all of those emotions and thoughts still feel just like yesterday. I wonder if that changes? And sometimes the thought of that change scares me. Again, with me it's always the head heart thing. I know in my head that Brandon is living life far better than here...I mean REALLY living the life that I believe God initially intended. But my heart hurts, and I am really missing him. And at the same time I am so thankful that this is not it, and trying to not miss out on the life that God has called for me here.

Still climbing, and still VERY much THANKFUL for God's LOVE & FAITHFULNESS!

Also, I am remembering this interview quote Brandon said 6/10/2004, in our local paper the Milford Beacon.

~ "You can't whine over things," he said, "because you can lose everything in a manner of seconds. So feeling sorry for yourself just wastes time. You may have some bad times, but you'll have some good, and it will all get better in the end.
"If you let the bad run you over, you really miss out on a lot of good things."

REALLY need this right now.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 NLT

First Post & Trying to Figure This Out!

Well, this is my attempt at entering "BLOGLAND". I LOVE reading other people's blogs as well as "journaling" myself. So this is a FIRST try! Any suggestions, advice, and HELP...please feel free!