Am I still doing this?

Still been "surfing this tide"...on and off. Some days are really fun, such as Homecoming, Hayrides, Apples with Carmel, Bonfires, Football games, visits from College, and all of the outdoor fall fun. And then there are those days, that it can be really hard to get "excited" about "surfing still".

Ah...but I keep pressing on towards the goal...I AM that work in progress, my life is, my marriage is, and the parent I am is. The two little ones continue to grow and thrive, and they definitely help with keeping us (me) moving. SMILE

Ending with a scripture:
...and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the god of my life. ~ Psalm 42:8







Beautiful ~ Makes me think of Brandon

Yummy!!!



Friends since babies!


Brothers


A Kiss from Momma of course!

The Tide

These feelings that roll around are as predictable as the tides. I really need to learn to SURF through them!

I am MISSING BRANDON so very much. I was thinking the other day, that I would give most anything to change my life BACK to my old life(there are the obvious exceptions ~ Brandon NOT being sick,my Children/husband/family/friends/stability).

But I also realized that I would NEVER change what Brandon has now...as much as I wish things were different, I could not rob him of his eternal home and what he has now...just for my selfish (deserved) heart. So that brings me to ENDURING.
ENDURING the missing
ENDURING the longing
ENDURING the heartache
ENDURINGG the breathlessness at times
ENDURING the crying, sometimes so hard I can't breathe
ENDURING the loss
ENDURING what "might have been".

But in all that ENDURANCE, I realize that God has helped me to PERSEVERE...something that Brandon did everyday despite his circumstances or the way he was feeling. You see for him...PERSEVERANCE and DETERMINATION was a daily decision, and he did it from 5 years old to 19. That's 14 years of 365 days of ENDURANCE ~ PERSEVERANCE ~ DETERMINATION. I have really only had to do it for 5 years. I see I will always have a lot to learn from Brandon, and to do as he did...ENDURE, PERSEVERE, and to be DETERMINED while living out....I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!
Thank you for the lessons Brandon, Thank you GOD for letting me be his mother, as well as Jordan & Seth's!

Where did September go???

What a busy month. Start of school...College, High School, Preschool, & Nursery School. From my 21 year old son, down to the new little 16 month old girlie. We've had football games, swim practices, drum line practices, Praise Band practices, appointments, BIRTHDAY PARTY for a special 4 YEAR OLD, 18th BIRTHDAY PARTY for my neice BROOKIE COOKIE, visits from my College son, Honor Roll Ceremony for Seth, and playing outside on the nice days while they last. WOW....can you see I'd really like to find that SUPER VITAMIN????

The adjustments have been going smoothly, we pretty much have a routine in place and it is working. However...a little "kink" in the routine when my back decided to go out! Never in my life have I had this happen, and never have I experienced something for so long a time that makes even the slightest of chores almost impossible. BUT, I have the most amazing helpful and wonderful husband! It made me appreciate him all over again. Seriously, single moms....don't know how they do it. And my mom was one for 7 years before she met my Stepfather...~YAAAY ERIC ~ THANK YOU GOD FOR GIVING US A WONDERFUL STEPFATHER! So you single working mommas truly are SUPERWOMAN!!!

Well...that is just a brief update on our month. Busy, but good...God continues to heal our hearts, and we still get those little kisses and hugs from him, and I'd like to think from Brandon as well....definitely these two new little ones seemed to be "handpicked" by Brandon (SMILE).

~ Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near. Isaiah 55:6 NLT...the thing is....I found that the Lord is ALWAYS NEAR...he never leaves me!