A little less of that :-( and a LOT more of THIS

Been in a "funk" lately....although it comes and goes from day to day...much like the "tide" from a post back in 2009. I am striving to count my blessings, to be a blessing to those that I love (especially my sweet patient husband Steve), and my children...Jordan, Seth, & the Little's. I want more than to be in a perpetual state of confusion, irritation, and sadness. And I know without doubt that not only does my Saviour intend for that to be my life...but Brandon would probably say..."get it together mom". And you know...it SHOULD be that easy! Thought I would be catching on by now. So not to end on the gloomy note....I am thankful for:

* My Husband of 23 years (March 26th)...I LOVE YOU HONEY!
* That I have the privilege to be the mother of Brandon, Jordan, & Seth
* That God saw to it that I was not done being a mommy...hence the Little's
* My ENTIRE family
* Christian friends that help pick me up.
* Music that fills my soul and feeds it
* Of course God's word and his promises that THIS is not it!
* Other friends to share this journey...and yes I hurt for them, but we are a support system!


In closing...I found out why God had me go back to my Bible from 7 years ago...it was to draw me close to a sweet friend who was such a inspiration to me for many years with the ups and downs with Brandon. Especially the summer of 2004. God knew then, that we would need each other now! I am asking all of you that "check on me"...to lift of this precious family from Texas.. The LOWES...their beautiful daughter Kyndall went home to be with her saviour on January 11th. I sure hope she and Brandon have had the chance to meet! The thought of that makes me smile...even on the hard days!

Passage Psalm 30:5: ~ The Message
The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.

Stretching...................

So yeah, God has me stretching in area's that I wasn't quite prepared for. One is a little area that I had put away out of reach almost 7 years ago. That is my Bible. Yes I have used other's in these last 7 years....Brandon's mostly, but I sent that along for the ride to California with Jordan (how cool is that to think about), my "Serendipity Bible" that was a gift from my mom years ago, Steve's Bible, one of Brandon's other Bible's (the teenager's edition), and yes I even looked at purchasing a new one. BUT GOD....he always has these other plans...funny, he never thinks to ask me ahead of time (smile ~ sometimes). Anyway, since December I have been hearing the word "BALANCE" from him. So I have been striving to achieve that. And just when I thought I was making the slightest of progress....I heard him tell me to go back to MY BIBLE. It would seem that it would be no big deal, but in my heart it has been. You see this is a book so worn, and even torn with years of searching, seeking & believing. There are prayers written on those pages, dates of those prayers, and some dates of answered prayers. Inside there are drawings by Brandon, Jordan & Seth through the years...notes from them, from Steve and from other sweet people. There are questions to God on how I was to pray for Brandon, proclamations made by me of what I would pray over my family. Standing on promises and then there comes the words, thoughts, and desperate prayers during the summer months of 2004. And then when August 3, 2004 happened...I could not pick that Bible up again. I shoved it on a shelf...never to open again. Until now....

When I took that big breath, and opened it up I saw those same things (a time capsule), but God is also showing me that although my perspective was different then...he did in fact answer all my prayers, see all my notes, and is still working to the good of me...because I love him. I do not yet know why he has chosen "now" as the time for me to go back to using this Bible...but because he is faithful, and I TRUST...I know that it is for my utmost best. And I am fine with that.

New Year ~ New Adventures

Hmmm....wondering what God has in store for our family for 2011. The last part of 2009 & all of 2010 brought about significant changes for all of us. The Little's arrived near the last part of 2009, they have now been a part of our family for 16 & a half months. Jordan is now living on the west coast and attending Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Seth is a junior, driving, and just got elected into the National Honor Society, and is busy with swim season at this time. Steve is steady busy with work (thank you Jesus that construction has not slowed at all for the company he works for), and I have been trying to find "my place"....the place that I know that I maintain in our family....but mostly the place where God wants me.

I feel a big shift is about to happen yet again in our family & life.....as if the arrival of the Little's was not big enough. But this one involves more stretching, more trusting, and a willingness to take another HUGE leap of Faith...yes God is shifting us. And that is Good....so with a readiness to listen, learn, & obey, we wait with anticipation & excitement! Won't you come along!

~ It would be so cool if God would give us the "big picture"...one that Brandon no doubt is in on, and excited for the things of God for his family. I can just picture that smile! :-) After all....God knows the plans for our family...plans that include HOPE and a FUTURE...his book (Bible)says so!

Happy New Year & New Adventures to YOU!
LOVE,
Dawn & Family