Getting Emotional

Getting so emotional with:

1.  Summer closing (way to FAST)
2.  Seth getting ready for his freshman year at the University of Delaware (REALLY FAST)
3.  Jordan getting ready to head back to California (this past year with him home...again TOO FAST)
4.  8 years ago today last day I heard Brandon's voice when he said..."I LOVE you, I'll see you in a little bit"
5.  August 3rd...8 FULL years of him being GONE! (FASTER & SLOWER than I can even comprehend)

Good things:
1.  Seth gettting ready for freshman year at UofD ~ So PROUD of him, exicted for his next new chapter!
2.  Jordan getting ready to head back to California ~ So PROUD of him, excited for his next adventure!
3.  Jedidiah getting ready to start 1st grade ~ SO PROUD of all that he has accomplished!

4.  Desi is 4 ~ a very sweet, but also sassy DAUGHTER who loves to sing and dance!
5.  August 3rd ~ Celebrate Brandon Day ~ 8 FULL years of him being HEALED & living with JESUS!!!
6.  August 13th ~ Seth's Eagle Scout Ceremony ~ VERY PROUD of this accomplishment
7.  August 15th ~ 1 FULL (and I do mean FULL) year of completed adoption of Jedidiah & Desi!!!
8.  August 19th ~ 3 FULL years (again...FULL) that Jedidiah & Desi first walked into our/their home!!!


Wow ~ I am a wreck good/sad, but GOD is ALWAYS FAITHFUL.  Sometimes I just have to really press hard to get my heart to KNOW IT & FEEL IT!!!  But even still...God is always the same, and that helps me through the tears of joy or sadness.

A little less of that :-( and a LOT more of THIS

Been in a "funk" lately....although it comes and goes from day to day...much like the "tide" from a post back in 2009. I am striving to count my blessings, to be a blessing to those that I love (especially my sweet patient husband Steve), and my children...Jordan, Seth, & the Little's. I want more than to be in a perpetual state of confusion, irritation, and sadness. And I know without doubt that not only does my Saviour intend for that to be my life...but Brandon would probably say..."get it together mom". And you know...it SHOULD be that easy! Thought I would be catching on by now. So not to end on the gloomy note....I am thankful for:

* My Husband of 23 years (March 26th)...I LOVE YOU HONEY!
* That I have the privilege to be the mother of Brandon, Jordan, & Seth
* That God saw to it that I was not done being a mommy...hence the Little's
* My ENTIRE family
* Christian friends that help pick me up.
* Music that fills my soul and feeds it
* Of course God's word and his promises that THIS is not it!
* Other friends to share this journey...and yes I hurt for them, but we are a support system!


In closing...I found out why God had me go back to my Bible from 7 years ago...it was to draw me close to a sweet friend who was such a inspiration to me for many years with the ups and downs with Brandon. Especially the summer of 2004. God knew then, that we would need each other now! I am asking all of you that "check on me"...to lift of this precious family from Texas.. The LOWES...their beautiful daughter Kyndall went home to be with her saviour on January 11th. I sure hope she and Brandon have had the chance to meet! The thought of that makes me smile...even on the hard days!

Passage Psalm 30:5: ~ The Message
The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter.

Counting the Days

~ I ask for Prayers of SAFE TRAVEL for Jordan & his friend Brant as he is taking a road trip to San Luis Obispo for a couple of days, and then on to San Diego for Thanksgiving with Brant's family. May they have safety, fun, and that God show him AMAZING things!

Football Season has come to an end.


But this guy just got inducted into the NATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY! We are so very proud of Seth and how hard he worked to get to where he is. He is also such a fun person to hang out with...I LOVE being his mom!









And this guy will be home in less than a month for Christmas & lots of hugs & kisses from this very proud momma! So pretty soon, we will look like this again, except...picking him up from the airport!
Although...I hope the "Little's" are good in the airport this time....no running off from "little helper boy"...and that the "Princess" realizes that she MUST keep her clothes on!

Counting the days with a happy heart and knowing that this guy...is laughing and cheering us on all the way!

This SON!!!

22 years ago today, God supremely blessed me with another wonderful son...JORDAN! He has always quite literally marched to the beat of his own drum, and we are so proud of that. He is so much fun to hang out with, and I am enjoying and soaking up these moments before he is off to his next adventure in California! I love that while he may be a little anxious...he hears God calling him, and is always willing for that "next adventure". He has had his ups and downs, and has had to deal with things that I never had to at his age. But through it all (the good and bad), he has survived, thrived, and desired to make and enjoy his life! Jordan, your dad & I love you so very much and we are so proud of you. And yes like I have told you...I am VERY JEALOUS of this new adventure in California...but then again...YOU are going to be able to impart into me what God is pouring out into you! Thank you so much for listening to that "still quiet voice of the one who loves your heart and soul". We are proud, Seth is proud, the Little's are proud, and Brandon is REJOICING with you!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! xxooxxooxxoo
And like your mama always reminds you....JORDAN, can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS him!

This Guy!!!

I LOVE him so very much! I love how hard he works for our family, how he wisely budgets our money, how he desires to be the man God called him to be, how he "puts up with my moods", how he loves our children. But most of all today...how when I was in such a "twisted up" mood, and feeling angry....he listend and then said..."do you want me to pray for you". WOW! He changed my atmosphere immediately, and spoke JOY into my heart, and PEACE into my life! I LOVE YOU STEVE, and THANK YOU GOD for my TREASURE!

Brandon's Birthday!!!

Brandon would be 25 today..BUT he is happy healed and abundantly well with his Saviour...and oh yeah...just waiting for us....I can just hear him say.."I told you I would see you in a little bit...come check this out"....aaaah, just a heartbeat away ♥






I wonder what days are like in Heaven....I would suppose it is a MASSIVE CELEBRATION and AWESOME WORSHIP at all times.



I long for that day, but I have also come to realize that I CAN have that here in the "waiting" also.






I believe that it is even more vital to remember that on those days that are so very hard. That this "veil between here and Heaven", is so very thin...and that if we just "press in" we can hear, feel, and smell Heaven, and most importantly feel the very presence and Love of the one who loves us most, and who knew what road we would be called to walk. I believe that God desires for us to just hold onto him so tightly that the "dark places" get pushed farther and farther away. But even in our "human condition"...he is still there holding us tightly, and for me...whispering..."come on...hang on just a little longer, I have so much for you to do, you are more than capable, and all is MORE than okay with your son. The son I gave you, and you him".I love when God whispers in my ear and touches my heart...especially the hard days. And I can always count on him to make himself so very real to me. Thank you God for giving me one of my precious children 25 years ago today....I know he is having fun, and making people laugh...and I will continue to press on, smile, and wait.

~ One of Brandon's FAVORITE Scriptures ~ Philippians 1:21
For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better